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Crazy,crazy dreams last night. Someone was making me build a guillotine. I escaped on a dragon with a red headed kid, to become a puppy handler for a Mexican gang. Then I had to float through some murky water full of catfish and whale skulls that flowed into my parent's basement. There I was supposed to collect jars of log cabin maple syrup and sell them on eBay.

zebra

Last night's dream was so long, but here's the rundown. I was at some sort of Art Camp where graduates went and worked at Catalyst Creative Services. I didn't graduate because I spent my time during business math making words on calculators, and I didn't keep my dorm clean enough. I was still neighbors with the Smith family and I went to some sort of function with them in Inman. It was a meeting for an underground Mennonite mafia, that was literally underground. There were a bunch of tasks that we had to pass, and mine was pretty easy, I just had to put on some weird clothes and then remember what order I had put them on. Julie was there though, and she had to go to church dressed as a zebra and convince the whole congregation that she was an actual zebra. She had some elaborate make up and prosthetic teeth and legs and hooves. She was in some sort of glass enclosure at the church and was doing well until someone pointed out that zebras poop all the time and there was no poop in her pen. I realized they were going to kill her if they found out she was really a human. I was trying to get to her and move her but I kept getting distracted by a bunch of rings I had in my fingers and that they weren't in the right order. Finally I just dig a tunnel to get to her. I got her out safely, but Roseanne Barr was in the tunnel and wouldn't let her go. I had to smuggle her out in the laundry like they do in Annie. After it was all done they told me it was all part of the test to join the gang and I passed, but if I didn't want to join they would give me a gift card to Kohls instead. I took the gift card and bought Ryleigh a beading kit.

Buddy and Sissy

I had a dream last night that I got sent to Notre Dame to work under cover on the Te'o thing. All the floors there were really slippery and I kept falling a lot. People had to drive to Texas to meet with a shoe dealer who sold shoes that kept their grip on the floors, The rest of the dream is embarrassing because most of my dreams make me seem super-conceited. But, eventually my sleuthing led me to the bar where Buddy and Sissy hang out in Urban Cowboy. The person behind the whole scandal was not the person they think it is, It was actually the operator of the mechanical bull. Think I should call the FBI with my psychic tip? haha

Goodwill

Dream last night: I went to Goodwill to look for a mirror. When I got there they were reorganizing things, and really gutted the whole store. I went to the desk to ask when it would be finished and the cashier knew my name. I couldn't figure out how she knew my name though. Later I went home and started painting Rinn's bedroom but there was some kid there throwing eggs at the wall and ruining it. My phone beeped and it was the lady from Goodwill saying she knew where she knew me from. But all of her other forms of communication were broken so we were having this conversation through Draw Something. Anyway, somehow through her pictures I was able to figure out that at July Third Thursday Greg Holmes and Sharon Scott were giving helicopter rides to people and were using this lady's private helipad to take off without her permission. (I guess I'm really good at draw something) So she had remembered coming to me and complaining about that, and that is how she knew my name.

Inception X6

I took a nap. Inception times 6? I had a dream that I was at Stephen Dawson's house. But I was married to him. I thought that was weird because I couldn't remember dating him and I knew I was married to Tyson. Of course the first thing I did was start looking at the walls and deciding what to paint. Then I woke up. Still in the same house. This time Stephen was there telling me that we had jokingly gotten married when I was 18 and we needed to get it nullified before he and Jamie Trussell Dawson filed taxes. He was wearing a woman's shirt though and I was trying to figure out how to tell him before he went to the courthouse. When I woke up, in the same house this time there was a party going on and Tyson and Justin Schutz were singing a song and Tyson was talking about how it annoyed him that the song got famous because the video was just a bunch of guys in white jackets trying to teach soda cans how to sing. My kids were there and I was trying to find a bathroom. I can remember the layout of this house so well. The inside of the house was a little strange but there was a back patio that was awesome. It was tiled to look like the fabric on your chairs, Rebekah Starkey and Kate Van Cantfort. There was a fire pit and Rinn was there eating the ashes. I got her out and went back in the house. I woke up again in the same house. This time there were a bunch of kids there making a mess and I was trying to figure out if I should be cleaning it up or not. Then Stephen came in and started telling them a story about bouncing me off of a trampoline, which never happened. Then I woke up. In the same house, and I was telling Stephen and Jamie about my dreams and we decided to take all of the kids to eat ice cream and my kids were behaving really badly so I wouldn't let them eat any. Ryleigh got mad about it and spit in the topping bar. Then I woke up, this time in my own bed.

birds in the aviary

Dream last night: I was at a mall in 1985 and there was some sort of turf war. It had to do with fancy cookies, and expensive makeup. I was in the middle of it and I got cut with a knife by Andrew Small. It hurt so bad that it actually woke me up. I went back to sleep and my parents were having cement poured in a shed, but the weren't there. I had to move a semi with 4 flat tires out of the way. I kept driving it, and the roads were really slick so I got out and walked. Everyone was walking, trying to get somewhere because the roads were too slick to drive on. Everyone had their backyards set up like an obstacle course and the winner got free pizza hut, but they had to drive to Chandler, Oklahoma to get it. In the next part of my dream I was on an island with former WWF wrestlers who had built an underground casino. Upstairs from this was an apartment complex with an "aviary" but all of the birds were stuffed. I unpacked some stuff and went down to the casino. There was a guy drawing caricatures, and in the caricatures I was naked from the waist down. I yelled at him for it, and he said "listen lady, I just draw what I see. " I looked down and I actually was not wearing any pants. I went back upstairs to put some on and the casino got raided. I was trying to get out of there before they found out I took part in it. But I had way too much stuff to carry. Then when I went to turn in my keys the landlord was making me fill out questionnaires about the place. I still didn't have pants on. I realized I was laying eggs and I was trying to figure out if I could make people think they were just props for the stuffed birds in the aviary

Dream 1.
 I was at this house for a photography project and first this guy asked if he could give me his number, he wrote it on a piece of paper with a bunch of other weird information on it. Anyway like 5 guys asked for my number. I thought it was funny because I had on really ugly shoes. One guy asked for my number and I told him I was married, then he came back with a fake mustache and asked again.
Then I went to some sort of building. There were a bunch of people talking about dress codes for teachers and how they were getting so strict that they were even determining what kind of crochet stitch can be used on their sweaters. Then I went and got dressed to play basketball and I was really awesome at it. So awesome that some random person in the crowd gave me their last 3 pieces of cinnamon gum.

Dream2.
Let me preface by saying my mom is not married in it.
I was walking up my driveway and Shandi was parked there. I looked under her car and saw the body of Tina Turner. I called the police and they said they could have someone to my house on Tuesday. The cop came and for some reason I was worried that I had too many trashbags in my yard? Anyway, I showed him the body and he confirmed it was indeed Tina Turner, but it didn't look like she had been hit so we couldn't figure out how she got there.The cop kept coming back day after day pretty soon I realized it was because he had a crush on my mom. He was Italian and had a whole bunch of kids and they would all come over for dinner. One of his sons was really cute and I was trying to get Jenny Burgett to come meet him, but she wouldn't. Then he told me he was tired of me trying to set him up with people because he could never take me seriously. he couldn't take me seriously because 
I was a terrible dancer, so my blood flows totally different than his. We got into a huge fight and I just started running. I ran downtown and I came across a dance line of some sort of dancing I've never seen before but I was really good at it. That dude was in the audience and told me he'd now trust me with his life.

Dream3
This dream starts with me in a phone booth calling Julie and telling her about dream 2. Then I had to go back to my hometown and go to the grade school where Ry was having a dance recital. In my dream there used to be a cross in the auditorium and it had to be taken down. The cheerleaders were doing a cheer about how sad they were that it was gone. I was suddenly fighting with the whole auditorium about separation of Church and State and why it's important, and how it actually protects Christians. They just were NOT getting it. One lady kind of did, but then she started talking about the distant future, and when robots find our ruins, etc. Then some girl I don't know was trying to tell me gossip about people I don't know. I went downtown and there was some sort of festival going on. There was an old man who carved my kids out of wood and was trying to get me to buy them for $500. I told him they were great, but I never asked him to do that. He told me they were voodoo dolls and if I didn't buy them very bad things would happen. I was trying to find $500 when I woke up.